I haven't posted in 616 days....it seems like yesterday I was just writing my last blog, sending myself back into the wild world of America. It appears so much has changed. I live in a new town, I have a new car and a new job, I am in school to become a nurse (which I am only 10 months away from completion)....but in so many ways nothing has changed. I miss Nepal and think of the people I love there, DAILY. I feel busy, hectic, and lost in America. Luckily, I have AMAZING friends (some new and some oldies but goodies) and my family is a never-ending source of strength and drama.
America is this sore spot. Its the epitome of a love-hate relationship....I cannot live without the resources and some of the people who co-exist with me here, but America hurts me all the time.....its like an allergic reaction to chocolate I love to eat it but it makes me so sick. I struggle everyday to feel centered and focused. Do I blame this on America or my lack of concentration here? So many distractions! Bright lights, internet, television, celebrities, POLITICS (yuck!), all this plastic and fake.....I just want to reach out and feel the real. Honestly, yoga helps...good friends help...running helps. But I want to get back to me....
I lost a friend of mine recently, he went out in a blaze of glory...he couldn't have had a better death if he picked it out of a catalog. BUT! His life was what really still amazes me... he had some of the craziest intensity you could ever imagine (so intense, sadly, some people were put off by it....their loss). When he talked to you, he looked right at you and LISTENED. This sounds so simple, but how many of us stop and take time to listen to those who are talking to us? He had a phenomenal soul, that absolutely glowed. He taught me so much about how to live....he lived in Utah, but whenever he was home him and I would have deep talks. He could see the light in me....the light I saw in him, it was always someone who fanned the flames. He encouraged me to go away, and never forget where I came from....I miss you my friend. I have not forgotten the light you encouraged in me and I will return that light and I will return to Nepal. I will be back....like I said when I left, this is not good-bye....this is see you soon.
See you soon Nepal.
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